OhBit of the Week

Are you a college student looking to get taken advantage of by an unscrupulous company bent on exploiting you for free labor?

Due to the exponentially increasing laziness of our staff, The OhBits is currently offering an internship program for the very first time in its storied history. Join us at The OhBits and let us help you start your journey down the long road of failure…today.

This is a massive opportunity for the right candidate to be in on the ground floor of a not-at-all popular website a handful of people sometimes glance at while waiting for their pornography to download.

Our interns will be responsible for various duties, including, but not limited to:

*Doing all our work for us

*Letting our staff toss hot coffee into your face for our amusement (at times you may be asked to throw it into your own face, as that is unquestionably funnier)

*Walking narcotics through the airport

*Toweling us off after showers without making a face

*Slipping into something more “comfortable” at our request, which will often be made at gunpoint

In exchange for your service you will receive IOU’s written in crayon with backwards R’s that can be redeemed for college credit sometime in the future probably. This will be a valuable learning experience for any sucker lucky enough to get caught in our web.

To qualify, please send:

*A resume—anybody’s.

*Two letters of recommendation from ex-lovers (we need to be sure you can coexist with those who have completely burned you)

*$1500 Best Buy gift card to expedite the processing of your application

*Your social security number and most recent bank statement

*A cover letter damn near fellating us with praise

*Photo of yourself, preferably Tebowing (we have fun)

*A 10-page essay about whatever. The topic is irrelevant, as this is simply a test to gauge how well you blindly follow orders that defy logic.